[Oz-gifted] RE: Ability Grouping

[Fly]

> The thing is socially B will always have problems be it with age
> peers or not as she is also Aspergers.  So the social thing was really
> just a furphy to us.

Any group has a wide range of behaviours, and older folks tend to be 
more tolerant of different behaviours IME.  There are children ( and 
adults) in all *age* groups that are considered to be *different*,. 
Labels abound, immature, too mature, hyperactive, dreamy, 
intense........ I am sure you can all think of people of your 
acquaintance who seem odd or whom you just don't like but it does not 
stop them being accepted in a wide range of social or educational 
situations. To use this as an excuse for not providing appropriate 
educational/ intellectual opportunities is assinine.

How far do you think tertiary institutions would get using this criteria?

The only way my dc have *matured* has been by allowing them to mix with 
older people with whom they *fit* and with whom they have common 
interests---sense of humour for one. Bright kids are too astute to 
respect patronising and quickly work out who are the people they can 
respect and who they would chose to emmulate. Put them with children 
their own age and ask them to figure our how to behave and it is 
extremely difficult. They often *know* the behaviours are inappropriate 
but they then have to figure out how to *fit in* and often muck it up. 
Put them with true peers and they tend to figure it out better---even 
(or should I say especially)  the ones with Aspergers IME.

When my youngest was in years K-2, he was more comfy with children in 
years 6-high school. The age peers ostracised him, bullied him, called 
him names---he never could work out how to  fit in---and he tried so 
hard it broke my heart. When he hung out with older children there were 
no problems. He fitted and they did not bully or ostracise him. Their 
teasing was still there but he understood it better and they had enough 
in common to find things to share and ways to communicate.

Sadly the school tried to prevent children from mixing with high school 
children and he was left largely to his age peers...what misery.

I did not know the half of it until we had been homeschooling over a 
year and things started to come out. He thought he was deeply abnormal 
and *wrong*.

> And from one that is at the other end now having a girl in high school,
> it really doesn't matter what age the kids are grade 7,8 and 9 are hell
> socially what ever age they are no matter if they are normal, gifted or
> Aspergers - particularly if they are a girl.  They are not very nice
> animals at this stage in their lives.

In school yes. We don't see the same thing in the HS children IME. 
---although I am sure there are exceptions.
A child who has come out of school recently stands out in the 
group---fortunately they mellow quickly IME.

Cheers Louise