[Oz-gifted] Oh, dear! Those Older Children!

[Ellen Hrebeniuk]

At 12:03 PM +1100 6/12/06, Fly2 wrote:
>  > We haven't really struck that yet.  One household I know of has the
>>  "I BEG YOUR PARDON??" approach where the child gets a second chance
>>  to express himself in a more acceptable way.
>
>Or should the root of the problem be addressed?  Expressing it in a more
>acceptable way is fair enough but finding a way to both talk and listen
>to both resolve the conflict and help the children set their own
>boundaries would be more constructive and longer lasting IMO.

Well, that's what they found.  The child would produce a sentence 
that was assertive rather than insulting, once they had had a chance 
to think about it.

>  >   Some words, however, merited an immediate soap mouthwash, and I
>  > believe "stupid" was one of them.
>
>I *never* think a soap mouth wash is the answer. Any solution to
>conflict that warrants parental policing disempowers the child and does
>not help them learn to stand up for themselves, set boundaries  and
>learn resolve conflict constructively so is not a good one IMO.

<shrug>  It wasn't seen by the parents as a solution to conflict, but 
as a punishment for bad language.  I wasn't around long enough to see 
how it played out.
-- 
Ellen Hrebeniuk
Sydney, Australia

Being a librarian is how you change the world.
Nancy Pearl